Hell, 163,000 light-years from Earth

The council of elders is surprised by the appearance of an unusual portal: it’s in the form of an ankh and it’s emitting a foul smell of embalming fluid.

Noriko Null steps out of it, followed by a seven feet tall cyborg with the head of a jackal.

Doctor Kalama is quick to pull her daughter Nalani towards her. Every single Demon, even the elders in their third century, summon Blood weapons as soon as they see the Egyptian god.

<Whoa, settle down everybody! He’s with me!> Noriko yells.

<That monster slaughtered thousands of Demons.> Torn recalls.

<Had I known that Null would eventually resurrect them, I would have killed more.>

<You’re not helping, Anubis…> she says, rolling her eyes.

<Choose your next words and your actions very carefully, Egyptian.> Maim says, and despite her frail body the intensity in her voice does still make her threatening.

Anubis doesn’t acknowledge it. He walks towards the large Blood crystal that is holding a sample of Ichor, tilting his canine head as he examines it.

<Using such a foul substance. What a disgrace for a goddess of death.> he comments.

<Not a fan of Ichor?> Noriko asks.

<I find its existence insulting, as it requires the presence of life to thrive. But I am not entirely unfamiliar with its use. What are you attempting to do here?>

<We are, uhm…> Nalani attempts to explain, chocking up at the presence of the scary half-jackal cybernetic monster. But she tries to put on a brave face, even if her hand holding tight to her mother’s is shaking.

<We’re studying a way to stop Ereshkigal from using Ichor to animate the dead. We believe they need to be in an oxygen rich environment for it to work.>

<The cub is right. Ichor requires oxygen to become active, like a spark to ignite a flame.>

<So you think this is gonna work?> Noriko asks.

<It would if it was necessary.>Anubis replies, his eyes becoming intensely red and very bright for a couple of seconds.

<There. You won’t have to worry about the dead anymore.> he then adds.

<Why? What did you just do?> Nalani asks.

<I severed the connection between Ereshkigal and all the Ichor in the Olympian Galaxy.>

<You can just do that!? I thought Ereshkigal was a lot more… knowledgeable… on Ichor.> Noriko points out, taking care to correct herself before she could voice her original thought: that Ereshkigal is supposed to be significantly more powerful than Anubis.

<I am the God Of Death, Null. Even her power, spread across an entire galaxy, is too diluted to overcome my own mastery over death itself.>

<Speaking of which… you’re not going to try taking over the dead yourself, right?>

<Once I would have. But you and Lady Vesta taught me that I don’t have to kill to be the God Of Death, since all mortals die anyway. For the same reason, I don’t need to disturb the dead to prove that I am their king.>

<Well I’m glad I got to knock some sense into at least ONE god. Just let me take care of one last thing and we’ll move to the summit, okay?> Noriko tells him.

<I have no intention to stay. I am not appreciated in Hell.> Anubis complains, scratching his ear like a dog. All Demons are still pointing their Blood weapons at him.

Noriko walks towards Nalani, talking to her while using the Sound Nullifier to be unheard by anyone else.

<Keep working on your anti-Ichor chemical weapon. If you can get it to work, I have some ideas on how to use it in a positive feedback loop that might affect Ereshkigal.>

<Do you still need that? Even with the scary cyborg dog-man?> the child asks.

<I don’t know how much I can trust him yet.> Noriko admits.

<Are you done? There are too many living beings around here for my tastes.> Anubis complains.

 

Parthenos, 80,000 light-years from Earth
The capital world of the Athenian Federation has seen little combat, and it’s the best selection for an impromptu summit: Olympus has sustained too much damage from Charybdis, and Noriko is not comfortable having these gods set foot on Earth.

It’s certainly an eclectic meeting: Noriko has brought Enyo in her capacity of Secretary of Defense and Lyra Syzar as Prime Minister, plus both Kari Zel and Torn to represent the Vanguard and Hell respectively. But on opposite sides of a round table are both Anubis and Inanna, the Sumerian Goddess of War and Sex.

Anubis doesn’t move a muscle, as if he was a statue sculpted together with his chair.

Inanna has put her bare feet on the table, exposing her legs since her black loincloth is just barely covering her snow-white skin.

<I have to admit, Athena, you may suck as a Goddess of War but you have excellent taste in interior design. Maybe you should be the Goddess of Furniture.>

<I see that Sumerians lack any respect for their hosts.> Athena comments, not even trying to hide her body language practically broadcasting her disdain for Inanna.

<I only respect strength and lust. You lack both.>

<Your presence is not really necessary, Athena. This is a summit of the Olympian Empire, not of its minor vassals: I’m perfectly capable of taking your place.> Enyo says.

<You were not even capable of inheriting the sectors of your brother Ares.> Athena snidely remarks, and that’s the final straw for Noriko.

<All of you, knock it off! You can stop posturing about who’s the best Goddess of War, we’re here to deal with an ACTUAL war!!!> she shouts, her silver eyes shining in anger.

<Pff. Like I need to compete with those amateurs.> Inanna scoffs.

Enyo is tempted to continue the argument, but a quick look at Noriko’s stern expression forces her to reconsider and she begins talking over a holographic projection of the Olympian Galaxy.

<Hades has closed his portals, stranding several of the ships sent by Poseidon; we’re currently searching for the survivors, but we don’t believe there’s a sufficient number of them to pose a real threat. With Ereshkigal prevented from using more Ichor, we have successfully repelled the first attack suffering limited casualties.> she proclaims with pride.

<How many?> Noriko asks.

<How many what?>

<Casualties. Give me a number of how many people have died in this war already.>

<It’s not easy to say, we are still evaluating the…>

<Eleven thousand five hundred and thirty-seven.> Anubis confidently says.

<Have you been spying on us?> Athena asks him.

<As if I needed that. Death is my expertise.> Anubis shrugs.

<Eleven thousand…> Noriko repeats, feeling the weight of that answer.

<Considering the Empire has a population of trillions, it’s an acceptable loss.> Athena rationalizes.

<Not for ME, Athena. Those are eleven thousand FAILURES in my book and I will NOT have another. We MUST be ready for the next attack.> Noriko shouts repeatedly, pounding the table.

<What kinds of attacks are we talking about, exactly? More ships?> Kari asks.

<If I may, I have extended knowledge about the military capabilities of Poseidon and Hades.> Athena intervenes.

<Of course you do.> Enyo mumbles, jealous of having to share the spotlight.

<Poseidon has only deployed 70% of his ships in the attack; I doubt he is willing to risk unleashing the rest, considering he also must watch his back from a potential uprising. His only other conventional military force is made of Sirens: he can unleash them in the millions, but they would have to depend on water-breathing apparatus and can’t use their sonic powers in space. And Hades lacks any sort of military force, since there are no mortals in his Galaxy.> Athena explains.

<What about Ereshkigal? Will she commit military troops or ships?> Noriko asks.

<My sister does not employ the living. She could unleash a couple hundred billion corpses if she wanted to, but you’re all looking at this from the wrong angle. This war will not be fought through what you called “conventional forces”.> Inanna explains.

<What does that leave?> Lyra wonders.

<Monsters and gods.> Torn replies.

<Poseidon has already unleashed Charybdis; he will certainly deploy Scylla as well.> Athena says.

<Hades might be desperate enough to call upon the Furies. Alecto, Megaera and Tisiphone: Endless Anger, Jealous Rage and Vengeful Destruction.> Anubis adds.

<Sounds like my kind of crowd.> Inanna gleefully smiles.

<Not to mention Persephone as well. I also know which gods would follow Poseidon… what about Ereshkigal? Will she send any particular god into battle?> Noriko asks.

<She could certainly bully Nergal, her current husband. Also maybe Ninazu and Manungal? I can’t remember if they’re her children… not even Ereshkigal is sure of that!>

<How could she not remember if she’s given birth?> Kari wonders.

<You try to remember if something spawned from your crotch three billion years ago. Don’t expect me to contribute any of MY children to the war, by the way: if I have them, I don’t want to share the fun!>

<I want a detailed list of all the potential gods and monsters that could attack us. And a list of all gods we can draft to assist us, from all our three galaxies.> Noriko says.

<Lady Null, with all due respect, this is a losing strategy. We have a tactical advantage from having won the first battle and we shouldn’t waste it. We must launch a strategic counterattack before the enemy has time to regroup.> Enyo explains.

<As much as I regret to admit it, I agree with Enyo’s assessment. We must attack.> Athena says.

<What are you proposing, exactly?> Noriko asks.

<Overwhelming force. Inanna destroys one of the three enemy galaxies, you use the remaining Yggdrasil warheads to carpet bomb another with black holes, and the combined forces of all our three galaxies rush the final one. It is a foolproof plan.> Athena proudly proposes.

<You want me to genocide three entire galaxies!?!?>

<This is war, Noriko. You were not the one to declare it but you can be the one to finish it. And prevent something like this from ever happening ever again.>

<Absolutely not!!! I will not even entertain ANY plan that leads to mortal deaths!!!>

<A war without casualties only exists in the minds of fools, Slayer.> Inanna reminds her.

<Okay, fine, I’m not naïve enough to believe we’ll get through this without any casualties… but I will not sanction civilian deaths and definitely not a genocide.>

<You may have no choice.> Anubis comments.

<Uhm, sorry to bring up the elephant in the room but… why not just use the Tablet Of Destinies to just wish these guys out of existence?> Kari asks.

<Already thought of it and asked the Tablet if it’s feasible. It won’t work.> Noriko answers.

<You didn’t think to mention it earlier?> Inanna asks, raising an eyebrow.

<You once tore off the head of the Lord Of All Demons because he spoke to you out of turn and Anubis tried to kill my entire team to make them zombies, excuse me for not wanting to overshare the details of my most powerful asset!>

<That’s fair.> the goddess admits.

<How could the Tablet not work? Isn’t it the most powerful weapon in the universe?> Enyo asks.

<Even the Tablet doesn’t know, it just told me it can’t delete the targets. I speculate that both Hades and Poseidon inherited whatever Kronos had that made him immune from the Tablet.>

<Ereshkigal was a close ally of Kronos even before he became Emperor Of The Universe; she might have the same knowledge. That Kronos, what a god… only one ever able to outmuscle me. Too bad he never wanted to sleep with me, I bet he was hung like a Priapus.>

<Have care of how you speak. Kronos killed my father Osiris.> Anubis tells her.

<I thought Set was your father.> Athena corrects him.

<Kronos killed both of them. One was my father, I can’t remember which.>

<And I thought the Greek gods were a handful.> Noriko sighs.

<If you want to limit casualties, the main target should be Hades since no mortals live in his realm. Inanna could easily destroy his entire Galaxy.> Athena proposes.

<I sure could! But obliterating a realm without a fight is not a war. I will fight Hades directly.>

<No. I shall fight Hades.> Anubis insists.

<Honey, Hades might be a weakling compared to me, but you’d have no chance against him even if you brought all of your vassals with you.>

<I don’t care about who’s stronger than who, but she has a point Anubis. Your best contribution would be committing the gods at your command to fight Poseidon’s vassals.> Noriko suggests.

<I will agree to such a tactic on one condition. If the Stygian Galaxy is not destroyed, I will be granted sovereignty over it.>

<You already rule your own galaxy! Isn’t that enough?>

<The rest of the Nine Gods don’t respect me because unlike most of them I am merely a Class-2 god. But becoming the only member to rule two galaxies would earn me respect.>

<From the others, maybe. I don’t respect any of them anyway.> Inanna shrugs.

<But will you still do your job in this alliance?> Noriko asks.

<You said you don’t want to destroy inhabited galaxies?>

<I can’t believe I have to keep saying that, but yes, no galactic genocides.

<Then I won’t fight my sister. But I will fight Hades and Poseidon for you… for a price. If doghead here gets to set conditions, I want to set one too.>

<Of course you do. What is the price for your help, Inanna?>

<I want the sacrifice of fifty thousand virgins.>

<That’s not funny.>

<Good, because I was not joking. Fifty thousand virgins killing themselves in front of my eyes and laying dead at my feet, or I will pledge allegiance to my sister and destroy your galaxy myself.>

Everyone looks at Noriko, waiting for her to reply. It’s a tense moment that seems to last an eternity, but a few seconds later she answers:

<Is that it? Yeah, it can be arranged.>

Her mortal allies are appalled by her answer, and even most gods… except Athena, who has already figured out the potential loophole and is thinking:

“Oh, Noriko, that’s clever. I would have to kill you for being so smart if you weren’t so useful”