Beyond The Impossible

Imperial Palace, Midgard City, Earth

Noriko Null has struggled with insomnia since she received the Nexus, always having trouble falling asleep.

Had she known that the secret to a good night’s sleep was temporarily turning into a goddess and finally defeating her evil alternate personality, she would’ve looked into it years ago.

She wakes up after twelve hours only because her personal Advanced Intelligence Data Analyzer buzzes repeatedly. Noriko just rolls over.

<Mistress Null, please wake up.> the artificial intelligence tells her.

<Not now, A.I.D.A. I said I don’t want to be disturbed.>

<I have screened your personal calls, as instructed, but there is a P.A.S.S. waiting at the door.>

<You’re not gonna let me sleep until I dismantle you, isn’t it?> Noriko groans, reluctantly getting off the bed.

<I am only following instructions. An individual identified as “Private Access Authorization Subject” cannot be denied an audience unless their lives are in danger.>

<Right, right, I was in an acronym phase when I came up with that.> Noriko acknowledges, suppressing a yawn as she looks for the nearest T-shirt.

<As I recall, the goal was improving your mental health by reducing the chances of isolating yourself from other people.>

<If I ever need a psychiatrist I’ll add it to your programming, A.I.D.A. Where did I put my pants?>

<As the smartest person in the known universe you should probably recall that you left them on the floor of the living room.>

<I don’t recall giving you a sense of humor either. Who’s at the door? I only allowed P.A.S.S. level to the Vanguard and to my family.> Noriko says, looking around the living room of her apartment for the rest of her clothes; she was too tired to properly put them in their place.

<Incorrect. In addition to the Vanguard, Bob Null, Nalani Null and Catherine Kalama, you have also granted P.A.S.S. to…>

<Jane, yeah I know, I was thinking out loud. Open the door.> Noriko grants, not bothering putting on her pants in front of her childhood best friend.

Once the door to the private apartment opens, however, there’s a bronze skinned man looking down at her when she’s only wearing her T-Shirt and her underwear.

<Good morning. Is that for me?> Gilgamesh asks, raising an eyebrow.

<Gilgamesh! I’m just, uhm, when did you get authorized?> she asks, covering herself up and rushing to put on more clothes so fast that she nearly trips.

<You granted him full P.A.S.S. access after you had intercourse with him.>

<A.I.D.A! Don’t you know what privacy means!?> Noriko reprimands her.

<Privacy, noun. The condition of being free from public attention or unsanctioned disclosure of personal information. If you are implying that I violated your privacy, you are incorrect: the public is not aware you had intercourse with Gilgamesh and no disclosure of such information to beings not already aware of the aforementioned coitus has occurred.>

<Alright that’s enough about that. A.I.D.A., delete knowledge of my sex life from your memory and deactivate yourself until further notice.>

<Acknowledge. I recommend psychiatric counsel for your internalized sexual shame. A.I.D.A. will now switch to offline mode.>

Now left alone without an inconsiderate third party, Noriko and Gilgamesh awkwardly wait a few seconds before saying anything.

<Sorry you had to listen to that, Gilgamesh. I tried boosting the performance of my personal A.I.D.A. connecting her to O.D.I.N.’s quantum server and…>

<“Gilgamesh”? What happened to “Gil”?> he wonders.

<I don’t really do pet names.>

<The person I slept with did. What changed?>

<Gilgamesh, I was literally another person… I had been turned into a goddess and lost use of the Nexus, remember. If I made you think that I was looking for, well, a relationship… I’m sorry I mislead you, but things are more complicated than that.>

<Noriko, I woke up a million years after my time to a universe where the gods were replaced by a mortal girl… I can deal with complicated things. If you don’t want a relationship just say it, but don’t overcomplicate the situation.>

<It’s not that! Look, I really like you, but I can’t get a boyfriend without considering the optics.>

<I am generally considered quite handsome.>

<That’s not what I meant. I’m the Mortal Empress of Olympus, Gilgamesh; I have to take into consideration how the galaxy will interpret my relationships.>

<Why? Your companion, or even your spouse, would not gain any power. You even made the position non-hereditary! Not that it would matter, since humans and Ur are too genetically different to have children together.>

<Whoa, who said anything about children?> Noriko backs off, literally, taking a couple steps back.

<Is this because I’m a demigod?> Gilgamesh then asks.

<That’s not what I said…>

<You’re afraid your subjects will think gods have too much influence on you. Especially since, while not immortal, as an Ur my lifespan is significantly longer than yours.>

Noriko considers making her case with more tact, but she cares about him too much to lie.

<That’s basically it, yes.>

<This is a new experience for me. Nobody has ever rejected me!> Gilgamesh realizes, and despite a physique that would make a bodybuilder feel insecure about his masculinity there’s a visible vulnerability in the demigod’s expression.

<Come on, I’m not rejecting you.>

<You basically just told me “It’s not you, it’s the Galaxy”. This is ironic, isn’t it? When I was king of Uruk, before my exile in Heaven, I would have been satisfied with you being just one more night of passion among others. But in all my life, Noriko Null, you are the second person I ever fell in love with.> Gilgamesh confesses, taking her hands into his own.

<Oh, wow, I’m… flattered? Just out of curiosity…>

<Enkidu was the first. But I didn’t truly realize it until after he was dead. I don’t want to throw away this love as well, Noriko, especially since your life is so short.>

<That would have been more romantic without reminding me you’ll outlive me.> she tries to alleviate the situation with humor, but Gilgamesh sees right through her attempt.

<You are Noriko Null, the Slayer of Gods, wielded of the Nexus, whose name is legend throughout the cosmos. Surely you can find a way to keep your position and be with the demigod you love?>

<Gilgamesh… let’s not rush, alright?> Noriko replies, her hands slipping out of his.

<Oh. You don’t… share my love?>

<Gil, we slept together once. We’ve never even been in a proper date, we’re not already in the “I love you” stage alright?>

<But I fought by your side against unsurmountable odds and we faced the impossible together!>

<So did most of my friends. Let’s just go slower, okay? It’s how things go from where I’m from.>

<I see. How sad that people with lives so short prefer to wait before they follow their heart.>

<Another reference to my lifespan and you’re sleeping on the couch forever.> Noriko chastises him, crossing her arms.

<Touchy subject. I get it. So what, are we supposed to keep our relationship secret?>

<For the moment. Just until I abdicate.>

<What!? If you’re looking to abdicate, why did we even have this conversation!?>

<I didn’t mean right now, Gilgamesh. You see, when I became a goddess, I technically stopped being Mortal Empress. When I wrote the Olympian Constitution, I was afraid a god may try to succeed me by temporarily turning mortal, or that a mortal might figure out a way to ascend to godhood after becoming emperor. I didn’t think it was possible to turn me into a goddess! So, if we go by the Constitution, I stopped being Empress the moment I became a goddess and I didn’t automatically regain my position when I turned back human. By law, the Prime Minister takes the power of the sovereign and the new one must be elected within 30 days.>

<So problem solved! If you’re not Empress you can be with whoever you want and…>

<We’re not doing that.> Noriko stops him, her silver eyes shining.

<You’re ignoring the very Constitution that you wrote?>

<When I took over control of humanity from Abyss, after repairing the damages I erased all evidence of my godhood. Athena helped with the cleanup: she’s my only vassal to know about it. Really the only one besides the Vanguard, Kayla and you.>

<But… why the ruse?>

<Because Athena told me she won’t follow any Mortal Empress or Emperor who isn’t me, and I suspect none of the other vassals will. Well, Aphrodite will probably go along and the new Winter King is just a figurehead, but I doubt Helen will follow anyone. If I’m deposed, or if I abdicate now, the Olympian Galaxy will fall into civil war. I’m not entirely sure if Marduk knew that the Twilight Mirror would turn me into a goddess… but by sabotaging my powers, I’m certain he was trying to destabilize my rule.>

<So you’re going to lie to the entire Galaxy about what happened.>

<Until I find a successor. A vote will still be necessary, but an endorsement from me will guarantee a landslide victory.>

<And you think you can find someone to take over the position? Nobody else in the universe is as qualified as you are, Noriko.>

<I don’t have much of a choice. The position of Mortal Empress was a compromise to unify the Galaxy; it was never meant to be a permanent position. But also, right now Athena has a lot of power over me… if she wanted to, she could expose me at any moment. And I know for a fact that her ultimate goal is to become Empress herself, with no co-ruler.>

<If she tells the truth, couldn’t you erase that knowledge from the public? Like you did on Earth?>

<I was only able to pull that off thanks to the power I syphoned off Abyss, and even then I was barely able to guide the thoughts of one planet. Even I can’t brainwash an entire galaxy so easily.>

<Even if Abyss claimed she was about to kill everyone in the universe? Could you do it?>

Noriko thinks it over for a second. She doesn’t like the conclusion she reaches.

<I saw something in Abyss. Her twister projects, enhanced by the planet’s brainpower and informed by the arcane knowledge stolen from Siduri. Yes, if I put my mind into it… I have the power to destroy or enslave all known civilizations in the universe.>

<And yet you punish yourself to suffer for the sake of others. Do you see why I love you?>

<Frankly, Gilgamesh… no I don’t: I’m an idiot who writes laws she constantly ignores and who shackled herself to an untenable position. But at least I have first-hand experience that I’m not the worst possible leader. In fact, if you’ll excuse me…> Noriko says, looking around the apartment for her boots and her leather jacket.

<…I have unfinished business. For once, one I’m going to enjoy.>

 

The White House, Washington D.C.

President William Devane sits at the Resolute Desk of the Oval Office, and unlike Noriko he hasn’t slept all night.

The world is in colossal turmoil: Noriko’s efforts may have prevented a catastrophe, but essentially stopping the entire world for days has caused an endless list of problems. None of which he’s equipped to handle.

A bright light heralds the visit he was dreading: Noriko Null just teleported in front of him, depositing a single sheet of paper on the desk.

<I should shoot you into the Sun for what you did. Instead, I just wrote your speech for the nation.>

President Devane reads it rapidly; it’s an extremely short speech.

<This says I’m resigning because I realized I’m not qualified for the position… begging forgiveness from the American people for my incompetence… you’re kidding, right? The world is in chaos; you want to add my resignation to the fire!?>

<You were willing to sell the Galaxy for personal gain, Devane, so frankly I don’t give a damn about your reputation. Here’s the deal: resign and I will protect you from retaliation from Marduk. Even if he makes your cancer return, I’ll have Asclepius cure you.>

<And if I refuse?>

<I’m not just the Mortal Empress, Devane, I’m also the Regent of Hell. If you’re still President tomorrow, you will serve the rest of your term there. As well as the rest of your life.>

<Upon further… consideration… I think I will take that deal, Null.>

<First smart thing you’ve said since I’ve known you, Mister President.>