Myridian Embassy, Washington D.C., Earth
Noriko Null hates formal occasions, especially those where she’s supposed to dress up: whenever possible, she uses her android body double and skips the formalities.
This time she made an exception: after all, it’s not every day that she gets to inaugurate the very first embassy to another world. Even that wasn’t enough to make her wear am actual dress, opting instead for a black business suit with her Ø symbol stamped on a white tie.
She already feels weird wearing that, but it’s made weirder by meeting a Myridian wearing Earth clothes: a man with naturally green hair and beard, shaking her hand vigorously even though there are no photographers capturing the moment.
<Lady Null, I was hoping we could get to talk in private.>
<It’s fine by me, President Sil, but weren’t you supposed to talk with President Warden?>
<My other duplicate is talking to him right now, but this one might be more useful.> he points out.
<Right. Even after all this time, I’m still not used to how Myridians work.> she admits, sitting next to him on a bench overlooking the garden inside the embassy, while another duplicate of the same exact man serves them cups of herbal tea. It will probably take some time for visiting dignitaries to understand that Radul Sil is both the President of his world, its ambassador, and his own butler.
<You work alone here? Well not alone but… you know what I mean.>
<Oh I have a full staff, I took two people with me. There’s about a dozen public servants on Earth at the moment; we’re opening embassies all over the planet.>
<I’ve seen the plans. Next is New York, I believe?>
<Next week, yes. Then Midgard City, Tokyo, Beijing, New Delhi, Old Athens…>
<It’s just “Athens” for us. Are you sure you want to open so many? My understanding was that the galactic standard was to just have a single embassy per planet.>
<Believe me, Lady Null, Myridia is as eager to know Earth as Earth wants to embrace joining the galactic community. Do you think you might convince President Warden to open the American embassy to Myridia before he opens one to Argos? We worked really hard to be the first!>
<I understand, President Sil, but Argos is the capital of the Mortal Republic… and let me tell you, most heads of state are not happy that Earth is not being considered for membership.>
<Whenever you wish to petition for it, Myridia would be proud to sponsor you. But enough about politics, I asked to meet you in private for a reason.> he reveals, timing his words carefully with the delivery of a package provided by his own duplicate.
<This is for you. Happy Day of Null.>
<It’s just called “birthday” here, but thanks. Especially for not making a big spectacle out of it, I’m sure you had to talk Ganos Lal out of it.> she replies, taking the present. It’s just a box… Myridians are too practical to waste paper to wrap it… and it contains a medal.
<The “Hero of Myridia” medal. Didn’t I already get this?> she says, raising an eyebrow.
<No no, this is the “Savior of Myridia” medal. A symbol of our undying respect.>
<That’s very, uhm, nice. So, any thoughts on who might be Earth’s ambassador to Myridia?> she changes the subject; she’s not very fond of receiving lavish praise.
<I was hoping you might convince Todd Slate. I haven’t forgotten how he helped during the Guild’s attack, and having been your lover he will quickly be accepted by the Church of Null.>
<I think he’d prefer to stay on Earth, but I’ll ask him. But could you just… drop the subject of my relationships when you’re talking to the Church?> she pleads, being saved from an awkward conversation by her N-Watch beeping.
<Oh, I have to take this one. You don’t think your guests will mind if I ghost, right?> she says, activating the teleportation device without waiting for an answer.
Null Tower, New York City
Noriko reappears in her room, immediately removing the tie. She catches her own reflection in the nearest mirror, then tries to see how the medal would look on her.
<Uh. I still think it looks just like the other one.> she shrugs, reaching for the nearest cabinet: next to her underwear, there’s an entire drawer filled to the brim with medals from all over the world and half the Galaxy. There’s so many that she can’t find a way to fit the latest one.
<I should probably give some of these away for charity or something.> she tells herself.
<Mistress, your guest has landed on the roof.> an electronic voice informs her.
<Thanks O.D.I.N. Escort him to the living room while I make myself presentable.>
<I can activate the censor filters if you let me visual access to your location.>
<I’m not naked, O.D.I.N., just not dressed properly. And there’s no way I’m allowing cameras in here.> she replies, trying her best to change as fast as possible into her regular clothes.
Once she’s reached the living room of her personal quarters, she finds there the current
Secretary of War of the Mortal Republic.
<Happy 26th Day of Null. I understand the Earth custom is to bring an assortment of dead plants, for some reason.> Kylon greets her, handing over a bouquet.
<That’s not really… you shouldn’t have. T-thanks.> she awkwardly replies, taking the flowers and wasting no time in changing the subject.
<A-anyway, I understand you’ve found what I asked for?>
<Yes, our intelligence services have identified the current location of Harmonia, as well as where she’s keeping Helen hostage.> the Lar replies, handing over a holographic tablet.
<Perfect. Once I take out Harmonia we will definitely need Helen to keep the peace in Apollo’s former sector. Any news on what happened to Zeus?>
<Our spies on Megalopolis report he’s still having intercourse with Hera.>
Noriko raises her eyes from the tablet, as well as lifting an eyebrow.
<It’s been three months.> she reminds him.
<I know. It’s the same amount of time that has passed since the last time we were alone in the same room… are you actively avoiding me?> he wonders.
<What, me? Come on, I’ve just been busy, that’s all.>
<So you don’t want to take the opportunity to talk about what happened between us?>
<Nope! We’re just going to drop the subject and never…>
<Is it because I’m not human?>
<Kylon…> she sighs, rolling her eyes.
<Is it the age difference? I have some tips on how you can deal with it: I dated a Lampyrian when I was in my 170s and we managed to make it work.>
<Listen, I’m not looking for a relationship right now, okay? We slept together once, that’s all; we’re both adults and we can deal with this without making a big deal out of it.>
<I agree. Are you doing anything tonight?>
<That depends. Is this for work or are you asking me out?>
<I bought your favorite sushi. We could eat it together while we go over your plan to overthrow Olympus… that’s your idea of a fun date, isn’t it?>
She can’t help but smile at his eagerness.
<You know what, Kylon? Maybe you’re not a bad catch after all.>
Megalopolis, 52.000 light-years from Earth
Hera floats above the bed, her body covered by the blue silk sheets. She couldn’t lay on it even if she wanted to, considering it’s been completely smashed to bits.
As far as the planet’s mortal population is concerned, the Divine Palace was the epicenter of an earthquake that shook the entire capital city.
<You’re still as passionate as during our first century.> she admits, looking at herself in the mirror.
The sheets are transmuted at a molecular level into her regal dress, and her disheveled blue hair fixes itself as if she was fresh as a rose.
<Yep. Still got it.> Zeus congratulates himself, proudly standing in front of the window overseeing his wife’s world without bothering covering up.
<So… what are you going to do about the Galaxy?> Hera asks him, holding his arm while conjuring up a white toga for her husband.
<What do you mean?>
<You know. You have to restore order.>
<Everything looks fine to me.> Zeus shrugs, and Hera’s embrace turns from loving to threatening.
<“Fine”? FINE!? Two of our children are dead, one of my sisters is dead and the other one is conspiring with her killer, half of our kingdom is being ruled by mortals and it’s FINE!?>
<Hey, what do you want from me? I wasn’t even around during all of this!>
<THAT’S THE PROBLEM!!!> Hera shouts, throwing a blue fireball directly at his face.
Zeus doesn’t even flinch.
<Where were you? Where were you hiding while the Galaxy slipped from our grasp one sector after the other, uh? Dallying with mortal w#ores!?>
<Oh so now it’s “our” Galaxy? I am the King Of The Gods! You’re supposed to
stand by my side and support me, WHICH YOU NEVER DO!!!> Zeus shouts back.
<That’s because YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING!!! I’ve had to run this galaxy, this FAMILY, all by myself!!!> Hera replies, raising her voice as her whole body is surrounded by blue flames.
<See, this is EXACTLY why I took my vacation!!! You’re always yelling and telling me what to do!!! You want me to do something!?>
His words are almost covered by the sound of thunder; outside the window, Hera can see pitch black clouds rapidly surrounding the planet. Zeus is bleeding electricity from his eyes, and in his hand he’s holding a sphere of concentrated divine power.
<There’s always SOMETHING with you people!!! Zeus can you smite this, Zeus can you heal that, Zeus you can’t do this, Zeus you shouldn’t f##k that… you think you’re better than me!?>
<Zeus, honey…> Hera tries to make him reason, stepping back once she realizes just how much power he’s putting into that sphere.
<Well you’re not! You’re my wife, I own you! I own the throne! I own this Galaxy! But I never get to have fun with it!!! Some days I just want to blow it up and F##K THIS GALAXY!!!>
Hera stares at her husband, holding enough energy on the palm on his hand to annihilate his entire realm, and for a moment realizes why mortals fear their gods.
<Would you still… have fun… without your kingdom?>
For a terrifying moment, Zeus seems to weigh his options… and then he shrugs.
<Eh, probably not.> he dismisses the idea, dissipating the energy he generated.
Hera breathes a sigh of relief: for a goddess who could comfortably take a nap on the surface of a neutron star, she’s having a cold sweat. Even if he’s been missing for just a few decades, she had almost forgotten his extreme mood swings.
<I’ve done some soul-searching during my vacation. I’ve never had any interest in ruling Olympus, you know that right? It was just my responsibility for overthrowing Dad. That’s the whole reason I came up with the idea of a feudal system… but it’s not working out, and it’s time to move on.>
<Taking back sovereignty from your vassals? It’s about time our kingdom has a single ruler.>
<No, you got it all wrong. I’m going to abdicate the Throne of Olympus.>
<What!? You can’t do that!!!>
<Sure I can. I’m Zeus, I can do whatever I want. Besides, we have rules of succession right? You made a huge deal out of it, when we set up the feudal system.>
<Yes… yes. I did write the Succession Act for just this kind of occasion.> Hera recalls, her blue eyes shining as she considers the possibilities.
<I know that look. You’re scheming something, aren’t you?>
<You’re just imagining things, honey. This will be great for our family.> she says, getting closer to kiss her husband while thinking:
“This is my chance to get rid of your illegitimate children once and for all, Zeus… as well as wipe out the disease of mortal sovereignty forever!”
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